May we discuss email? Okay, thank you. Will do. 🧛🏻‍♀️

So we (Nina, Chandler, Maria, yours truly) were editing a specific email and I want to share a couple edits we made, and WHY. 

It’s a Thank You email from the founders and it triggers X days after the order is placed (so right before the order arrives in hand to the customer). 

We made very specific edits, because the email already existed and had for years. It was working. But, what does working really mean? It hadn’t been touched or tested in forever… 

And as such, it was time for a spruce. 

1️⃣.

Instead of saying something like:

If you have any questions, reply to this email. 

We wrote:

Have questions? Reply to this email and we’ll be in touch quickly.

^ It’s a message from the founders, remember? So this change makes it seem like THEY will be in touch, which could mean personally or could mean their team but it promises a reply and it feels like the brand takes this seriously. 

^ And, the quickly here is significant. It’s 1 thing to promise a reply. It’s another to promise QUICK ACTION. Remember, the customer hasn’t received their order yet but they’ve paid good money for it and are looking forward. It’s comforting to know that quick attention is there, if needed or wanted. Nobody likes to wait. And, this brand is on it and really puts CX at the forefront. So their customers should know that right away! (That they kill it). 

2️⃣. 

Instead of saying something like: 

We’re excited to have you on the team. 

We wrote:

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We’re lucky to have you on the team. 

^ Excited can be improved upon. In this day and age, if I’m being honest, that word, when used in customer-facing copy, really reminds me of ChatGPT. You know what I mean? This ChatGPT copy bullshit: ‘We’re about to embark on an exciting journey 🚀’.. 

🤮

Lucky is carefully chosen instead. This is a THANK YOU EMAIL. We are thankful – grateful – lucky – honored. We aren’t excited. It’s more than that. 

3️⃣ +. 

We made many more changes. Across copy but to the design as well. Because it was an email that was years old – the brand has evolved. It’s email creative is better now. The brand is stronger. And, this is an important and early touchpoint – so worth getting right to set the tone. 

P.S. Let this serve as a kind reminder to please go check your entire post-purchase flow and if it’s not currently on brand… make haste. 

4️⃣. 

The next step here is a short series of split-tests. 1st up is a plain text vs. designed test – testing the new copy as plain text against the new copy + new design. (This was our client’s idea and it’s a great place to start). 

Importantly, we won’t test into every change we made. The old copy was off-brand, impersonal, and no longer applied in lots of ways (the brand has added new products and new people and the old Thank You email was no longer accurate). So, no, we won’t be testing every micro-change we made here. Because the before version is now wrong. And that’s more than okay to move away from.

The 2nd test the brand could run might be a test of timing. Testing sending this 48 hours after purchase vs. 72 hours. The 3rd test the brand could run might be a simple subject line split-test. 

We shall see! The brand will implement the winning variants and probably leave this alone and move on for a while. It’s important to shift effort to what’s broken and then to shift back into what has the biggest upside potential. That’s where you’ll find us. 

I hope this was helpful. xo 💌

Ari Murray
Ari Murray

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